Author Archives: @jmillerjr

Dear Mom

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Dear Mom,

Much has happened the past 15 Mother’s Days, and there’s not a day that goes by I don’t think about you, miss you and yearn for one of our long talks. I hope you would be proud of the man I am growing into. On this day, I wanted to write you a letter to bring you up to date and honor you.

I finally graduated and earned my Bachelors in Computer Science in 1998. I know how important it was to you that I continue and complete my education. I only wished you would have been here to witness this milestone. The same month, I finally got that promotion to Manager I was telling you about. You were right! I really can do and become anything I want.

Unfortunately, I lost my job in 2000 and had to go on unemployment. On a good note, I had the privilege of working with Dad and Marc for 6 months. I hated every day out in the hot Sun, mowing, weed-eating, and sweating. It was a very miserable time of my life, but it brought the men in your life closer and for that I am most grateful.

Remember one of my dreams to be a coach. I started substituting in Copperas Cove and an opportunity opened up for me at one of the junior highs in 2001. I coached 8th grade football, basketball and track. Although it was only for 2 years, it was amazing to influence and lead these young men to become something greater than them. I often found myself quoting your wisdom and insight. Many of them have and are graduating college now. Surprisingly, they still remember their old coach.

I recall a time I once told you I wanted to be a priest. Well, I didn’t quite follow that path, but I did follow my heart and go into full time ministry from 2003 to 2007. I was involved in youth ministry, partnering with about 40 churches, teaching leadership, hosting camps, conferences and events. I’ve went on several missions to Macedonia, Kenya and Uganda. Becky and I even started an international ministry. For the past couple years we raise support to care for orphans and widows, as well as oversee several churches and ministers. I think you would have loved to go on mission with me.

Your grandchildren are taller than me and Becky. Of course that’s not saying much. Stephen will be 21. You would love having long talks with him too, since he is a lot like me. His intellect borderlines genius, but we try to keep that from him so he stays humble. Wow, that just reminded me of that Mac Davis song, “Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble”. HA! You used to say that was my theme song.

Brittany turns 18 this year, and still has that sweet spirit. She was awarded Academic All-District & All-State in volleyball. She is a math guru, graduated high school early, with honors, in the top 4% of her class, and headed to Baylor in the fall. Although I do a pretty good job of not spoiling her, I got to admit she just melts my heart and almost has me wrapped around her finger.

Chris just turned 16 and will be getting his driver’s license soon. He has been a good athlete since he could run, throw a ball & swing a bat. He played every sport, every year until recently. He made varsity as a sophomore and still has those dimples that drive the girls wild. He’s pretty charming and gets away with more than he should. Wonder where he got that from?

I’m sad you and Becky didn’t get to build more of a relationship. She is the only other woman I’ve loved and God truly knew I needed a wife as much as I needed my mother. She’s an awesome woman of God, mother, wife, cook and writer. They say men will find a wife like their mother. In my case, I found one who honors you in her love, character and resolve. She is definitely the only other woman in the world who knows how to manage me. It’s a tall task and she has graciously stepped up to the challenge.

Well mom, that about sums up the highlights of the past 15 Mother’s Days. It’s been pretty lonely on this day each May. Although God has put some special women in my life as spiritual mothers, none can compare or fill the void you left behind. On past Mother’s Days, I have thanked and honored them for their role in my life.

Today…I want to honor you. I continue see your influence and touch in my life, and it’s priceless. Thank you for being my mother and everything you imparted to me. I have not forgotten you. I love and miss you so much.

“Because you were, I am.”
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Love Always…Your Son,

Jimmy

Don’t be fooled by my weakness

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Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” ~ Matthew 26:38

When I was a young Christian, I grew up in the “Word of Faith”/”Prosperity” movement. At times it seemed almost cultish, everything you said had to be tempered with positive, faithfilled promising scriptures. There was virtually no tolerance for negative talk, doubt or transparency. When ask “how are you”, anything less than the proverbial “I am blessed” response was met with an indicting, condemning judgement of “where’s your faith?”.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe God’s Word, cherish the promises and blessings, and exercise my unconditional and unwavering faith daily. My question and concern is when did truth, transparency and the human experience become taboo, vain and faithless? The reality we live in is a world full of depravity, pain, suffering, grief, disappointment, defeat, sorrow, trial and misery. Yes, it is often accompanied by life, love, joy, praise, excitement, blessing, reward and fulfillment.

The human experience is filled with both, even more so the Christ follower walk. To walk out the fullness of God means to walk through the passion of His love, mercy, grace, forgiveness, discipline, wrath, judgment, redemption, sanctification and salvation. We see this evidence throughout the scriptures particularly in the Psalms of David, “the man after God’s own heart”, and Christ, His Son, in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Why is it we can’t handle the truth, despair and transparency of our brothers and sisters, yet we tolerate the toiling rhetoric of David and Christ, as well as almost all the patriarchs and matriarchs of the Bible? Why are we so compelled to speak in positive cliches, platitudes and quotes, we don’t really believe or practice, and demand everyone around us to do the same. In my experience the last thing anyone who is hurting wants to hear is something positive, inspiring, encouraging or spiritual.

What they truly need is someone to listen, cry, grieve, understand and pray. Just because we have of weak moment where we express our human experience doesn’t mean we lack faith. On the contrary, we may be battling to exercise our faith, agonizing between our natural pain and our supernatural spirit, on our way to that moment of divine victory.

How we respond may be the catalyst to someone winning in Christ or falling prey to the enemy’s attacks. Don’t be so quick to condemn and judge someones perceived expression of weakness, it may be they are stronger than you are.

“For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:10

Relentless

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In recent months, I’ve come to realize my entire life can be summarized by one word…RELENTLESS. Simply defined as unyielding and unending.

When I was a young man, my pursuit for the “American Dream” was relentless. It came at a high cost and sacrifice to my ChristIan walk, health and family. I felt there was nothing to lose and everything to gain. After my inevitable corporate train wreck, God brought about a refreshed spiritual awakening, awareness and purpose. He restored my health, family and ministry call. Little did I know, this too would come at a high price.

You see…the devil, my immortal enemy, has nothing to lose, as well. He is fully aware of his pending eternal doom. He knows his future even better than I know or can even begin to understand mine. This is why he is relentless in his endeavors to deceive, distract and destroy the followers of Christ. Like the wounded animal he is, backed in a corner, with no way of escape, he attacks with vitriolic anger and no regard for humanity.

As I sit in this hospital room, once again, watching my wife battle and endure another attack, I am fully aware of how equally, if not more, relentless my enemy is. He has been unyielding and unending in his pursuit to destroy me and my family. After 46 years of assassination attempts on me personally, and 26 years of trying to destroy my marriage and relationships with my children, I continue to press forward with unwavering love and faith in my Lord.

Many have questioned how I can continue to follow Christ, serve humanity and give my life to mission after all we have endured. Honestly…it would be so easy to just quit. Be like many other “Christians”, content with Sunday morning and Wednesday evening services, giving my token tithe time, and satisfied that I have a ticket to heaven. The attacks would surely disappear, for me and my family would no longer be a threat to the kingdom of darkness.

Frankly, a life like that would be worse than death. An unfulfilled spiritual life would simply destroy us, and our enemy, with his relentless attacks, would win. GOD FORBID!

Instead, I choose to continue my unconditional and relentless pursuit of Christ. With every attack, I am more resolved to mission, sharing my testimony, and rescuing humanity from darkness. I have overcome my greatest fears…losing my wife, kids and even my own life. I have given it over to my Lord, its not mine anyway. Therefore, I no longer have anything to lose, and everything to die for. He can’t take what I freely give. How about you?

Have you given over your greatest fears to Christ? Has your enemy’s relentless attacks paralyzed your walk, mission and purpose? How relentless are you willing to be for your Lord to advance His Kingdom?